Week 1

Hi, my name is Savannah Toll,
I graduated nursing school in December of 2021 and took the NCLEX in March and decided I was not going to take it again until I did some type of remediation. I felt like a failure and a letdown to my family, and I knew that I could not handle failing the NCLEX multiple times.

Looking back on my time in college my passion was quickly taken from when we us students had to continuously jump through hoops, deal with difficult situations, and limited clinical experience after COVID. Going into the NCLEX the first time I did not really feel prepared. I studied but found myself trying to use multiple resources which in the end were not helping like I had hoped, I needed something that was going to dig deeper and go all the way back to the basics. My last level of nursing school really did it for me and I graduated not knowing if this is what I wanted to do anymore, but I knew my passions for nursing and I was determined. I CONSTANTLY told myself “It’s okay, just get through nursing school, you’ll figure out the rest”. I made it through nursing school so now it is time to defeat this test.

My nerves and anxiety are high. I took the Uworld assessment and got borderline again with a 30th percentile. I am trying to not let it get the best of me. I took a good mental break before the 6-week class because I knew I was about to dig deep. I am determined, I know that I will be a RN no matter what it takes. During the first week I obviously had my doubts, but I was surprised by how I was starting to keep up with what Nick was firing at us. I am starting to understand the “Worm holes” as Nick calls it. I enjoy the class and find myself wanting to study more every day that I attend. I have noticed that right off the bat Nick is very reassuring and does not allow us to beat ourselves down when we do not understand what he is saying. Instead, he stops and works it through with us. THIS, THIS is what I NEEDED in nursing school, someone that cared and would give me and their students time of day. He has us do daily questions and I have honestly been surprised by my Uworld scores. I scored a 74% on a fundamentals quiz and thought Uworld had a glitch. I have noticed that I read the questions too quickly and wind up answering it wrong, or I can narrow it down to two and select the wrong one. I lack confidence. I will whisper an answer and Nick will say “SPEAK UP, BE CONFIDENT YOU GOT THIS”. I wish I would have known about this class sooner. It feels weird to have an instructor that truly wants you to succeed and is willing to do anything to get you there.

Week 3

I have been super heard on myself mentally. It is only week three and it seems like I’m expecting myself to know and be able to retain everything just by reading it, listening to it, or taking notes on it. I am having to remind myself that it takes time and practice, I am essentially relearning all of nursing school in the matter of six weeks. My biggest downfall is Adult Health (obviously Med-Surg) which sucks. It is something that is weighed so heavily on in all of nursing and for some reason, I feel like I can’t comprehend it. My scores were above average or close to being above average and now they have tanked a little. My anxiety has been through the absolute roof, and it is physically showing. I had a long heart to heart with Nick and he told me that he sees how well I do in class, I can usually keep up with his wormholes, and my scores are not bad at all. He also pointed out the fact that I am obsessing over my scores and that I do not need to know absolutely everything. I just need to know the important things. AND I NEED TO BE CONFIDENT. I expressed that I do not feel the way I have been studying is effective for me. Writing the textbook word for word is not going to help you retain the information. I just know that my biggest downfall is Med-Surg and I want to know it all. I took it upon myself to make flashcards over the things I feel are important and the questions I keep missing in Uworld (rationales). Gastrointestinal is apparently not my friend when it comes to med surg considering it is where my lowest score is, but I am working to improve that. Nick wants us to do a minimum of 50 questions a day and I am trying to do more than that, especially in my problem areas. I know that I am improving, I can hold a conversation about the things I am being taught in class with my best friend who is also a nursing school graduate. When she spits stuff out that goes along with it, I am right there answering what it is, the signs and symptoms, etc. I also taught my sister what Cushing’s syndrome looks like on a person. She was kinda shocked. Then asked how I knew, and I told her and then showed her a video explaining everything that I just did. Before I could not tell you a single thing about Cushing’s or Addison’s.

The last few weeks have been hard but so rewarding. I have watched myself grow in so many ways, I am proud of myself for finally being selfish and taking the time to really learn the material instead of putting it off. We are moving into Mental Health, and I know I do not do as bad in that area as I do Med Surg. The repetition and building that we do in class is very helpful and I find myself not wanting to leave when class is over because I enjoy it 😮. I despised Med Surg in nursing school, but when you have an instructor that does not throw that material at you and really takes the time to build off of it and teach you, it makes you want to learn it. Nick is very good about stopping what he is doing and if someone does not understand he will reteach it or ask you to explain what you do not understand. The weeks are going by so fast and while I am not trying to think about it, I know that my test day is coming up soon. Do I feel ready to test right now? Hell no, but I will be. I have worked too hard to back down. I have got WAY too many people to prove wrong.

What things are helping my confidence? I have been waiting for Nick to ask this. There are several things that are helping my confidence: my scores have been pretty much above, at average, or a little bit below (Med Surg). My sister Kara is really helping me as well, “We love you Nana, we believe in you” replays in my head constantly. My sister’s and my babies (nieces/nephews) are why I continue. I want the kids to know when they get older that you can defeat all the odds against you and be who you want to be. Another big factor in my confidence is Nick. I never knew that someone in such a short amount of time could give you so much encouragement and support. His love for his student’s is unreal, and you can see how much he wants this for us. Knowing that someone who has had a long-standing background in Nursing, is completely unbiased, and literally just wants you to be a great nurse, really does it for me. Not to mention his CONSTANT words of encouragement, “Speak up, don’t be shy, you know this, BE CONFIDENT, YOU ARE NURSES!!!”

Week 5

We are now on week 5/6 for the course and my test date is quickly approaching, and I get super sick (of course). I was bedridden for almost two days with high fevers but forced myself to get up and study. Nick kept telling me to rest that it was important, but I kept telling myself “you have areas that need improvement get the hell up”, within those two days I felt like I got super behind in PEDS and I kind of did which made me panic. Peds is like a miniature version of Med-surg so you really have to zone in and study it. My scores have dropped to being average or a little below when I do focused areas of the content. I am finding it hard to go back through all of my notes of what we have learned from the beginning of the class because there are still so many other things that I need to do with what we are currently learning, which is reading the book, taking notes, and doing the questions. However, I do my best to make time and if I can’t get to it I know that I am still building my knowledge in other areas or I try to read over as much as I can while laying down for bed. I am hard on myself for good reasons, I can just be a bit much sometimes and having Nick reassuring me that I am on the right track really helps.

It’s mock NCLEX day where we take our second Uworld assessment to see if we have improved and I am beyond nervous. Nick gave us all a pep talk the day before saying that we are all badasses and he has full faith in us, we just need to have it on ourselves as well. I told him prior to this that I was kind of getting this weird feeling when doing Uworld questions, like I knew what some of them were asking me. I can realize what the question wants most of the time and if I can’t, I try to find the hidden clues that they tend to give you. Walking into this class I sat at the 30th percentile for my first Uworld self-assessment with a borderline chance of passing, borderline meaning Uworld couldn’t decide whether I was close to pass or not. It stung but I knew it was true, I lacked the knowledge and confidence, that’s the whole point of this class. Thursday May 12th, we took our mock NCLEX (second Uworld assessment) and I got in the 82nd percentile of passing, with a very high chance to pass. ME. I. GOT. A.VERY. HIGH.CHANCE.OF.PASSING!!!!! Never in any of the assessments I have done did I get a high chance of passing, I only got low or borderline. I didn’t know what to expect from the assessment, but I definitely wasn’t expecting that. I went back through and saw where most of the questions I got wrong, I narrowed down to the two and one of the two was the correct answer. That tells me that I know the answer. I just need to work on picking the right one between the two. As soon as I got the results I called Nick sobbing, of course he reassured me trying to calm me down, and I kept saying no look. I showed him the results and he instantly said “see I told you, you could do it now don’t stop keep studying, I am proud of you” I got a very high chance of passing. I, Savannah Toll, got a very high chance of passing. Two more weeks and I will dominate this NCLEX. No matter what happens, I know that I have improved and even if I don’t pass it, I will get right back up and do it all over again.

I will be Savannah, RN.

Week 6

These six weeks have gone by so fast I’m pretty sure I have whiplash. We did the four day review this week and I remember my first time ever doing the four day review with Nick, I barely understood what he was teaching, I barely knew any of the lab values let alone the problems that go along with them, not to mention I couldn’t keep up with his wormholes, and I left that class knowing I wasn’t ready for the NCLEX, but I still took it. I am thrilled to say that I kept up with almost everything he was saying to the students, when he would ask a question, I was right there yelling out the answers, some of the stuff I didn’t remember but I have made it a point to go over the recordings before I test. It’s weird to me honestly, I can teach my classmates now, or I am able to help them with Uworld questions and provide reasoning behind the correct answers. I made it a priority to redo the Uworld questions in my problem areas to see how much I have retained and what I don’t remember. I figured testing myself in my problem areas takes priority over something that I already know, and my scores have improved in my problem areas.
It’s minus three days until I take the NCLEX and I’m eager but terrified to test at the same time. I keep having the nagging thought of what if this still wasn’t enough, but I know that I have worked hard these last six weeks. Except, maybe this last week where I had question fatigue and had to take a little step back because I was getting frustrated during quizzes and getting questions wrong because of it.

This class has been my saving grace, I would have already given up, actually I was giving up. I didn’t know how to study for the test, and I felt like a failure. That feeling alone can mess with you mentally. The class isn’t just about content, content, and more content, it’s about being able to apply the information not only in the questions but in the real world as well. I am beyond nervous, but I am ready. I can do this!

Post Pass

Savannah Toll, RN. That’s what I am, I AM A REGISTERED NURSE. THAT IS SAVANNAH TOLL RN, NOT SAVANNAH TOLL, CNA. I was 75 and out this time around, I knew there was no way I failed. I felt it, before I even knew. Of course, I was panic texting Nick before and after the exam, I told him I needed one of his famous pep talks. When the exam cut off and took me to the questionnaire, I thought there’s no way. NO WAY. I went from 90 questions with a CPR of near the passing standard in every category, to 75 and just done.

Keeping up the momentum these last six weeks was hard. I had to step away from my family and significant other, because I knew I had to really dig deep and that meant stepping away from being and aunt, daughter, sister, and significant other. It was hard but now look, I’m proof to my nieces and nephews that no matter how bad of background you come from, you can and will make it.

Nick is proof that if you take the time and effort and put it into your students, they will walk out more successful and CONFIDENT! He doesn’t stop with the constant reassurance. He is diligent with all his students and even lets you know when you need to pep your step up and work harder. I will always be glad I found this class. It was truly my saving Grace. If I didn’t stumble upon it, I’m not sure I would be sitting here as a nurse.

I am a nurse because a stranger took the time to guide me and help me understand, not belittle me. He never let me doubt my potential and reminded me that I will be Savannah, RN. “I have all of the confidence in the world for you, all of you, you guys are nurses and don’t even know it yet!” “Speak up, you’re nurses” “Don’t be afraid, if you answer it wrong we’ll work as a team to get to the correct answer” “I’m here for all of you, I want this for all of you, I know that you guys may of had a rough time in school, but I am here to change that and help you”. I could go on and on with all the things Nick has said to us.

I know this wasn’t part of the journal, but I just want to personally thank you Nick. For six weeks I have watched you pay attention to every single one of your students constantly providing daily feedback and words of encouragement. Staying over after class almost every single day to help ease our anxiety and answer our numerous amounts of questions. You put your blood, sweat, and tears into your program and it shows. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish everyone could experience how passionate you are about your students and your classes. I remember telling you I broke the familial cycle. I did it Nick.

I am Savannah Toll, RN.